Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
