Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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