Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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