i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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