i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
