is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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