I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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