She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Randomize
