im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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