I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
her vagine was all disorganized.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
