Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
