I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
he thought i was a dude.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
