I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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