people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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