Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
