Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
