I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
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