went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i dont even know how to be here
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
