you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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