I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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