happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize