i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
