guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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