No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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