I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
