Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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