I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
