His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
