yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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