I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
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Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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