im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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