remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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