Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Randomize
