last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
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