Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize