The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
