I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
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