Your face is a jimmy john
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
