You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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