It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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