I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
my poor anus
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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