Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
