Three words: puerto rican gang bang
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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