rhymes with "ouble enetration"
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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