we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
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