so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
His hands were made for my vagina.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
