Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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