Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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