Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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