My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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