ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
