At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
you made out with another girl for some wings
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
