Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
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