S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Randomize
