You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
