What a fucking waste of an outfit
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
