Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had