So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
