I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
