I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Man, jail baloney is awful.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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