captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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