it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Text me some of your sweat
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