Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
and you fell through a lawn chair
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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