High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
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