I accidentally had phone sex last night
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
