So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
